Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood
You’re Not Who You Were, Only Older – My “first post” from December, 2005 My first step into Second Adulthood was backward off a ninety-foot cliff. On impulse, I had signed up for an Outward Bound program and found myself poised in full rappelling gear—harness, helmet, and guide rope—to walk down the face of what […]
Traditions and transitions
“Tradition! Tradition!” sings Tevya in the rousing testimonial to rites of passage from “Fidler on the Roof.” Traditions mark transitions. They create community around significant life experiences. And force us to pause and take stock. Indeed, many of us have tried to initiate new traditions to commemorate neglected but major passages – such as a […]
Not showing up
I used to have a fantasy gift that I hoped someone would give me– one canceled lunch per season. For years I gratefully received news that someone else couldn’t show up for something. It never occurred to me that I could initiate the gift of needed time or rescheduling to accommodate other priorities. I always […]
Horizontal Heirlooms
Whenever I watch “Antiques Roadshow” I am struck by how many people have lots of things that “have been in the family” for generations. That phrase suggests longstanding roots and lovingly transported trunks that are not part of my history; my grandparents and my father were immigrants – the steerage kind – and couldn’t have […]
“Wasbands” and other new realities
Recently I was invited to speak to a group of about 300 women in the suburbs of New York City. They were full of energy, wit and candor about the changes they were experiencing. As always the “question” part of the evening became what we once called a consciousness-raising. And as always, there were surprises. […]
S-E-X
Because I am working on a new book about the unprecedented stage of new life that women are discovering, I have an excuse to indulge in my favorite pastime: talking to women. And because our conversations get real pretty fast – even if we’ve only just met – I have heard a lot about sex […]
I’ve finally hit a birthday I don’t want to admit to
When Gloria Steinem famously proclaimed “This is what forty” – and then fifty, sixty, and now seventy – “looks like!” I totally endorsed her message: if each of us stops trying to hide our years, we will liberate each benchmark for all of us. And in all my writing about women’s Second Adulthood I have […]
Who cares?
I have just finished screening purposals for the Purpose Prize, a cash award to be given by the terrific organization called Civic Ventures that promotes civic engagement on the part of people over fifty. The entries I saw were all impressive and I wish they all could win, but what really struck me was the […]
The Sandwich Generation Squeeze
I’ve been traveling again – and talking to more women about what’s on our minds. The theme that has emerged recently is “The Sandwich Generation” stresses. It is a condition of our parents living longer that makes it likely that we will have, according to some estimates, as many years of parent care ahead of […]
My trip to Arizona
Traveling the country and meeting women who are inventing the rest of their lives is the best tonic for the front page of most newspapers these days. The headlines all seem to be about greed, duplicity, cravenness, selfishness, meanness and what Big Daddy labeled “mendacity” (in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”). The women I […]