By Mary Eileen Williams
Feistysideoffifty.com
Women over 50 have wrestled with a lifetime of mixed messages. In our formative years we were taught the virtues of adhering to the1950’s & early ‘60’s standards of conformity. That meant being “ladylike” and fashioning our futures based on the June Cleaver/Donna Read models of matrimonial bliss.
But when the late ‘60s/early ‘70s rolled around, we’d had enough of the lackluster, ladylike role. We wanted to shine ourselves and, after years of open battle with the opposite sex, we started doing just that. Yet, although we began to occupy positions of power, the early childhood messages of proper female behavior persisted—one of the most stubborn being the nearly universal hesitancy to toot our own horn.
I addressed this issue in a recent post where I suggested using winning examples as a way to toot with comfort. But this problem is so pervasive and widespread that I turned to my favorite observer of the female experience after 50, Suzanne Braun Levine, for answers.
Suzanne shared both her insights and her personal struggle with tooting in our 15-minute conversation. Yes, Suzanne, a woman of notable accomplishments (Founding editor of Ms. magazine, the only woman editor of the Columbia Journalism Review, author of a number of best selling books, and frequent guest on major media programs) has trouble tooting, too! She even wrote about her own lack of tooting temerity here on her website.
So what are we to do? Tooting our own horn is tied to feelings of self-worth and personal power. After all the advancements brought about by the women’s movement as well as the feisty hormonal changes of menopause, you’d think we gals would have this one nailed by now. Yet it seems like an ongoing struggle to be straightforward and state our strengths and accomplishments with ease.
How do you line up on the tooting issue? Can you toot like a trouper or is your own horn woefully silent? Suzanne and I would like to know. Please weigh in with any tips or ideas you might have for your fellow tooters and tooter wanna-bes. We’ll all be grateful for your thoughts.
Who knows? Once we get this handled, maybe someday the women of the feisty side of fifty will gather together and sound off with one great, triumphant toot. It would certainly be a welcome and long overdue reverberation; millions of horns vibrating loudly—sharing all of our remarkable achievements with open pride. In fact, what are we waiting for? It would be a “toot heard ‘round the world!”
And now for a bit of tooting of my own–I just started blogging for the brand new Huff/Post 50. Please take a moment to check out my post: “Five Keys to Beating the Age Factor.” I’d love hear your comments.