By Suzanne Braun Levine
I have always thought of Mother’s Day as a celebration of my mother, the Main Mom in the family. I made plans designed to please her and honor her on her Day. Eight months ago she died, and so this year, for the first time, I am the last mom standing. It is a weird feeling to have the day to myself, especially when my inclination is to spend it missing her. Yet when I think of the two of us as mothers, I see the two-way street that runs between a mother and her daughter-as-mother. It is the most intimate connection between one generation and the other, I think, because it is as mothers that we share the most profound experience of our lives – the joyous moments and the painful doubts, the need to be appreciated and the even stronger need to be reassured that we did the best we could.
The day after my daughter was born my mother gave me a gaudy pink plaque that read NUMBER #1 MOM. At the time, I thought the evaluation was somewhat premature, but as the years go by I look to where it sits on the shelf above my kitchen sink in times of parental defeat and self-doubt and find reassurance in the message. In those moments it reminds me of a secret we mothers share – that as much as we all want to be a Number One Mom, none of us feels like she is, by acknowledging that secret we empower each other to appreciate that each of us is as good as it gets.
Happy Mother’s Day – and keep up the good work!