Toxic Relationships Can Make Us Sick
Saying NO Can Save Your Life!
The Shock of Discovery…
For ‘Anne’, age fifty-one, it began with a misdirected email on her computer…and the shock of discovery in a relationship that seemed fine.
I found out through an e-mail on my laptop that he had picked up a woman–or she had picked him up–it was just one of those whacko things: This was a girl that was 29 years old from Nebraska, and in forty-eight hours she’s e-mailing him that she can’t live without him–she’s married, he’s married, and it was like the person I knew, the person that I loved and adored, just turned on me, and turned before my eyes into this absolute unknown.
When I confronted him, he basically said to me, “You really shouldn’t look at my e-mails,” and then within twenty-four hours she had sent naked photographs of herself. And then he was like, “Anne, it’s just a chat room, you know I look at this stuff,” and I’m like, “Okay.”
And what I did, which everybody thinks is so funny is that–you know for a moment you believe this stuff, you think, “Well he can’t be lying to me,” and then you think, “Wait a minute, that’s so crazy,” I said, “If this is what you’re going to do and this is what’s going on, go ahead, knock yourself out; I’m out of here.”
What followed?
A “winter of discontent” and then, Anne was able to hatch her life-saving NO:
I had my own apartment, but I was in contact with him, and one day he came over, and I remember saying to him, you know “If you’re lying to me, and this is still going on, I just think that that would be unforgivable.” And he looked at me, and he said, “I’m not lying.” And he left, and I thought, “I’m never going to speak to that guy again.” I just knew.
And I understand what they say in movies sometimes, when they say the person that you knew isn’t there anymore. The person I knew wasn’t there anymore.”
Lesson Three: “NO Is Not a Four-Letter Word”
Toxic relationships like Anne’s can make us sick. Saying NO in this situation can save your life!
Heartbreak and frustration put tremendous stress on the body. High levels of the stress hormone cortisol are a significant contributing factor to heart disease, and heart disease is the number one cause of death among postmenopausal women.
For information on “Women, Heart Disease and Stroke,” visit the American Heart Association, click here: http://bit.ly/cUyT8q
To join the “National Start Walking Day” (April 7, 2010), visit: www.startwalkingnow.org