MEMO TO MYSELF
I’ve been advised to write an upbeat end-of-year note – to reinforce the message of my writing, which is that women over fifty are feeling upbeat about themselves and their prospects. And that certainly applies to me. My kids and friends are good; my husband has opened the art gallery of his dreams; and my mother is drifting off peacefully (so far). I have reconnected with old friends, which is an amazing gift; my longtime friends continue to nourish me and one another (one had major back surgery, but is recovering) and continue to do good work.
I have been energized by the groups of women I have talked with about where our lives are and about Fifty Is the New Fifty (which is coming out in paperback in the spring). Moreover, what could be more optimistic on my part than starting a new book – about love, no less!
BUT I find it hard to be encouraged about the world we are living in. Every time something good looks about to happen, it is undermined by greed or vengeance or negativity or failure of will. Decent people struggle, poor people suffer, nature is assaulted, and the people in charge seem more interested in wielding power than using it to change things. As Big Daddy keeps bellowing (in “Cat on A Hot Tin Roof”) mendacity is everywhere.
So, is there anything upbeat to say about the new year and the new decade? I think so. Because of the energy, decency, and courage of countless people like those I meet and write about and love, I do believe that change is possible. That is my message to myself. I want to bring my own sense of empowerment to the world beyond my own. And I intend to do that by taking my own words to heart and adapting some of the Life Lessons from Fifty Is The New Fifty to my 2010 game plan.
NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES. It is one thing to hope for change; it is another thing to get it moving. I know – and I intend to keep reminding myself – that even the smallest movement in the right direction can set off a chain of meaningful consequences.
NO IS NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD. I plan to make it my business to say “no” more often, especially when my inclination is to look the other way or give in.
AGE IS NOT A DISEASE. When I attribute my what-a-mess attitude to becoming the stereotypical crotchety old lady, whose life work is to complain until she drops, I will remind myself that I am at the most influential and dynamic stage of my life, and I’d better use it, not lose it..
BOTH IS THE NEW EITHER/OR. Seeing things in black and white, denouncing flawed behavior, dismissing a good action from a bad source – that kind of thinking has to go. The mellowness and ability to roll with the punches that has come to us as we become older and wiser can keep us on a search for the best outcome under the circumstances.
A “CIRCLE OF TRUST” IS A MUST. Since what is so discouraging in my current world view is a lack of trust in our institutions, our leaders, and human nature, I must look to the people I do trust and the good that they are doing for inspiration – as well as love.
If each of us can be what I call a “Horizontal Role Model” for the rest of us, we can make 2010 a year that counts for ourselves and for the future.